The Show Must Go On...

We all endure periods in our life where we are challenged, when things feel much harder than they need to be. It can be relentless at times, seemingly unable to break free from those feelings of dread or despair.

For me personally, this year has thrown up some incredible challenges. Being unwell for a period of time and navigating the treatment, procedures and the constant waiting for results has been emotionally draining. In addition to that fun, I've also faced some difficult periods with some relationships in my life. My long-term relationship felt like it was fading away, which after 23 years and two children was a sobering thought. A friendship that I cherished came to an end, which has been equally difficult to digest. I guess not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, even when it feels as though they were destined to be. The pain of love & relationships has been felt very deeply for me this year.

Moving into April and my favorite time of year, Autumn, things are still feeling pretty raw but improving gradually. I have a clean bill of health for the first time in over 12 months with nothing on the horizon but hope. With all of this going on I sometimes wonder how photography has even managed to stay relevant in my life throughout this period. But therein lies the beauty of not just photography, but in art itself.

Whether you take photos, paint, draw or even write or just listen to music, art plays such a pivotal role in our lives and can help us to draw strength and inspiration at the times we need it the most. It can shape and mold our recovery and allow us to feel and process emotions in many different ways.

Looking back at my portfolio of images over the last few months, I came to realize that photography has played such an important role in allowing me to express how I have been feeling and helping me to deal and digest those emotions. Quite unintentionally, my style of photography has changed during this period. Gone are the colorful sunset images of our spectacular coastline, something that has become my favorite and a signature part of my photography style over the years. I have no doubt that I will revisit this genre in the coming months as I start to feel a bit more positive, however it has been quite interesting to see how my work has taken on a unique flavor of its own, reflecting the uncertainty of recent months and the emotional pain that has followed.

'Over the Top' - Canon EOS R + Sigma 35mm f1.4 ART

I can't think of a better example than the image above, titled 'Over the Top'. This was one of the very few images I captured myself during a recent workshop I held about capturing Black & White images. Quite ironic really that I came across this scene in a class I was teaching about how profound B&W images can be! In the days leading up to this image being taken, I underwent a very uncomfortable procedure and still had stitches plus a nasty wound to deal with as I hobbled around the city with my class. I was suitably distracted by teaching and working with my group, but underneath I felt really down and out.

Then I stumbled across this scene. The crumpled leaf, clinging to the edge as the water flowed over the top of the fountain, disappearing into the darkness below. Seemingly resisting the pull to fall over the edge and into the abyss. It really resonated with me and summed up exactly how I was and had been feeling. This simple composition of a leaf on top of a fountain, which thousands of people had walked by and not even noticed was speaking to me. I'm sure anyone reading who has an artistic eye will understand how these things jump out at you, for no reason at all. It remains one of my favorite images taken this year.

Without even realizing it at the time, photography was proving to be a great source of comfort and allowing me to express my feelings, even though they were not often positive.

In the past I have always been able to rely on photography to help pull me out of a dark place. It could've been a drive down the coast, or a night away under the stars. These trips are always fantastic and so therapeutic, but I simply didn't have the levels of energy or motivation to undertake such an adventure.

It really felt like photography was coming to me this time, rather than me having to go to it.

'Follow the Light' - Canon EOS R + Canon 24-70 f2.8L

I found that taking images at locations I didn't really have to work too hard to get to was playing an important part in my getting on top of my emotions. I didn't even have to take images that were any good, it was more the act that I was finding helpful. I had the opportunity to catch up which my good friend Chris who lives out past Gawler. He had recently attended my B&W workshop and being in his company was a good thing for me.

I packed the swag and camera gear and spent the night out chatting, laughing and practicing guitar with him. Just being in the swag again was amazing, looking up at the stars and waking up to the crisp morning light was about as good as I had felt in a long time. Bit by bit, photography was allowing me to move further back out into the world.

On my way home the following day I decided to take a detour out to Mount Crawford Forest. It was deserted; I was the only person there. I found a comfy rock and just sat for what must've been at least half an hour. No phone, no music, no talking. I just sat and listened to the forest around me. It was a moment of connection for me, connecting back to myself.

I got up and quickly came across the scene above, titled 'Follow the Light'. Looking at the scene I thought immediately that this would work in B&W. The speckled light and texture of the tree's worked really well without color. Another example of how this wonderful artform had almost singlehandedly taken me from being on the couch, depressed and unable to be creative to now standing in the forest on my own with creativity flowing in my veins.

'Mortlock' - Canon EOS M + 22mm f2.0

These photography experiences started to help me have more good periods throughout the day than bad. More good days than bad. Things are still tough; I still have plenty to work through before my head is back in a 'good' place. But I'm feeling functional again, which is a far cry from where I have been! I am taking my camera with me again, wherever I go.

The image above titled 'Mortlock' was captured on a city visit with my partner to the Art Gallery and State Library. It wasn't a photography trip; it was a chance to reconnect with her but include photography into the experience at the same time. I've captured the Mortlock Library previously, but never in B&W. It just hits differently. The absence of color can sometimes help us to see & feel more.

'Lady Grace' - Canon EOS R5 + Sigma 35mm f1.4 ART

In the last week or so we have had some Aurora activity around the place. I found myself with the energy and drive to head out on an adventure and completely enjoyed the night under the stars with my friend Darren capturing the Aurora. Something that would not have been possible in the weeks leading up.

A few exciting opportunities have presented themselves for me recently also. I have registered with SALA for 2025 and been contacted by several fantastic venues looking to host my photography which is fantastic news. I have secured some wonderful new clients, and a major project is in the works which will be on a scale far bigger than anything I have worked on before. I look forward to sharing some details about that with you all in the coming weeks.

All of these things have come about because of baby steps. Just putting one-foot in front of the other every day, even when I didn't feel like it. Photography has been with me the entire journey, luring me back into my myself one piece at a time.

The last image I wanted to share with you all is a really important one for me. We had some friends over for a BBQ recently. It was an enjoyable afternoon, and photography really wasn't on my mind at all. I looked up at the sky and could see the cloud formation was looking good for some color. I realized I was suddenly thinking about color!!! But we had people over and a trip to the beach to capture what was going to unfold was not possible.

As the minutes rolled by, I could see that the sky was starting to explode with color, and I was going to miss it. I thought back to all the examples I had recently where I captured an image in a really mundane or ordinary setting that I was really happy with. So, I excused myself for a moment and grabbed the camera. I walked out to the front yard and paused for a moment, took it all in and actually enjoyed the sunset for a bit. I stepped out onto the street and a composition struck me immediately. I squatted down in the middle of the road, my neighbor was watching on with interest wondering what on earth I was doing! I got the shot, and then another, and another. In the space on ten minutes, I had captured three images I was really proud of. I put the camera away and went back to the BBQ.

The following day I took a look at my images; I was exceptionally happy with the results, all taken just 30 feet from my front door.

This image for me symbolizes my return to color.... a turning point in this painful journey for sure.

'The Burbs' - Canon EOS R + Canon 16-35 f4L

Thanks for taking the time to have a read. It's been so therapeutic to put this down in writing. No doubt you all have periods in your life where you feel lost, hurt and downtrodden. I hope that my journey can help provide some comfort or inspiration if you ever find yourself in a similar position.

Until next time.

Cheers

Keith